I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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