Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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