did you get engaged???
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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