Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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