I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
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Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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