her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize