Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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