i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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