thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
When are your genitals available?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize