i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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