dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
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I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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