Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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