I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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