Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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