Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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