David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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