Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize