The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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