if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize