Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize