remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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