hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize