Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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