Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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