summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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