dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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