Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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