she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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