i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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