Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize