You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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