I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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