I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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