my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize