i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize