I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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