First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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