Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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