I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize