Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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