I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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