Buhtt sex?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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