Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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