ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
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I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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