You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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