i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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