I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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