Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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