I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize