i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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